A guide for families
Signs your elderly parent may need more help
Decline in an older person rarely announces itself. Most parents say they are fine, and many mean it. This page is a plain checklist of the small changes families tell us they wish they had noticed sooner, what to do when you see them, and who to call in Australia.
The checklist families actually need
One sign on its own is rarely a crisis. A pattern, or several signs together, is worth acting on.
Changes in voice and conversation
Repeating the same story within a call, losing the thread, searching for common words, sounding flat, breathless or unusually tired, or going quiet when they used to chat. A change in how your parent sounds is often the earliest signal.
Eating and drinking
A fridge with little in it or food past its date, weight loss, clothes that now hang loose, skipped meals, or living on tea and biscuits. Ask what they had for dinner and listen to how specific the answer is.
Medication
Missed doses, doubled doses, tablets left in the box, confusion about what each one is for, or repeat scripts not collected. Mistakes with medication are among the most common and most fixable problems.
Hygiene and appearance
The same clothes for days, a change in grooming, body odour, neglected nails or hair, or a reluctance to shower. This can come from pain, fear of falling, low mood or memory problems, so ask gently and without blame.
Mood and withdrawal
Less interest in hobbies, friends or church, sleeping much more or much less, tearfulness, irritability, or saying things like being a burden. Loneliness and low mood are common and deserve a real conversation, not just reassurance.
The house
Unopened mail, unpaid bills, piles of laundry, dishes left, a neglected garden, spoiled food, new dents on the car, or burns on pots and tea towels. Also look for new bruises, furniture used to steady themselves and signs of falls.
Mobility and balance
Holding walls, slower walking, difficulty getting out of a chair, avoiding stairs, or a fall they mention almost in passing. One fall often predicts another, so it is worth a conversation with the GP.
Confusion and safety
Getting lost on familiar routes, forgetting appointments, leaving the stove on, answering the door to anyone, or being caught by phone scams. These are reasons to act sooner rather than later.
When to act
You do not need to wait for a crisis. A good rule of thumb:
- If you see a sudden change, such as new confusion, a fall, not eating or not recognising people, call the GP the same day. Sudden confusion can be a sign of infection or another treatable problem.
- If you see two or three of the signs above lasting more than a couple of weeks, book a GP visit and go along if your parent agrees.
- If you see one sign that keeps coming back, such as missed medication, it is worth solving now with a pill organiser, a pharmacist review or more regular contact.
- If your parent is in danger right now, call 000.
Go gently. Most parents fear losing their independence more than they fear being unwell, so start with how you can help them stay at home, not with what they are doing wrong.
Who to call in Australia
Their GP
Start here. A GP can check for infection, medication problems, depression, hearing and vision changes and memory problems, and can refer to specialists and allied health. Ask for a longer appointment and bring your list of concerns.
My Aged Care: 1800 200 422
The Australian Government entry point for aged care. They can arrange an assessment of what support your parent may be eligible for, such as help at home. Have your parent's details to hand, and expect a wait, so ring early.
Their pharmacist
Ask about a pill organiser or blister pack and whether a medication review makes sense. Pharmacists often notice patterns in what is and is not collected.
Family, neighbours and friends
Agree who will check in, and when. Sharing the load across siblings and neighbours avoids both burnout and gaps.
Where a daily check-in call helps you notice earlier
Most of the signs above show up in ordinary conversation: how your parent sounds, what they ate, whether they slept, whether they took their tablets and whether they seem lonely. The difficulty is that a weekly call gives you a weekly snapshot, and a change can start on a Tuesday and be well advanced by Sunday.
A daily check-in call from Mary is a short, friendly phone conversation at a time you choose. After each call, you receive a short update, and a gentle alert by SMS or email if something sounds off. Over weeks, the trend view lets you see change rather than a single day. It does not replace your calls, the GP or the people who care for your parent. It gives you earlier, steadier signals so you know when to pick up the phone yourself.
Mary calls any landline or mobile, so your parent needs no smartphone, app or internet.
What a daily check-in call costs
If you decide a daily call would help, pricing is simple and there is no lock-in.
A$39.95 per month
for daily calls
- A 14 day free trial, with no credit card needed to start.
- Cancel at any time in Settings. There are no contracts or cancellation fees.
- No equipment to buy or install. Mary calls any landline or mobile.
What Nonni is not
Mary is a companion check-in service. She is not an emergency service, she is not a medical service and she is not a replacement for a personal alarm. She cannot send help to the door.
If your loved one does not answer after the retries, we notify the family so that you can check in yourself. We suggest you talk with your loved one about the calls before you begin, so they feel like a welcome addition and not surveillance.
In an emergency, always call 000.